When the Reality Show Made Me Viral for My Shades, Not My Brain (And Why I Still Got Botox About It)
(Or: How I Went Viral for Apparently Being a Pure Bottom, Got Cancelled for Being Too Competitive, Then Accidentally Became a Beauty Influencer While Having an Existential Crisis About Suicide Prevention)
📁 Filed under: Cognitive Dissonance, Free Aesthetic Treatments, and Why Ephemeral Fame Without Impact Feels Like Chewing Gum That’s Lost Its Flavor
🎬 PART 1: The Plan vs. The Punchline
Let me paint you the 4K fantasy I had:
💡 THE PLAN
- Go on a Taiwanese reality show (100 foreigners, fluent Mandarin, competitive as fuck)
- Go viral
- People click my Instagram (thirst traps + travel + Meta events = hot and smart cognitive dissonance)
- They see OopsImToxic.com in bio and think: “What the fuck is this?”
- They click
- They discover: neuroscience + AI + suicide prevention work disguised as dark humor
- Media picks up the “crazy stories” — (former overdose survivor now using AI to help high-EQ rich people who’ve tried everything)
- I become the guy who specializes in suicide the way gynecologists specialize in vaginas 💀
- Clients find me — people who can afford everything but still spiral — the ones who end up buying my recursive AI system to understand the thoughts that nearly erased them.
- I fund my research, save lives, make an impact, build a legacy.
Simple. Strategic. Deeply unhinged but sound.
💀 WHAT I ACTUALLY GOT
A viral elevator scene where a Spanish classmate I’d met five minutes earlier announced on camera:
“They put us together because we’re all bottoms.”
…followed by a gay scream in a pitch only dogs and drag queens could hear.
The clip went viral — millions of views on Instagram and Threads.
My colleagues saw it.
My manager saw it.
Everyone saw it.
💀 THAT WAS NOT THE FUCKING PLAN. 🏳️🌈
⚔️ PART 2: The Controversy Arc
(Or: When Being Good at Competitions Makes You the Villain)
Episode 2: I fought my way to the top 25.
The internet exploded.
People didn’t just disagree — they were aggressive.
Vicious comments. Think pieces. Full-blown controversy.
I made my first headlines in Taiwanese media.
Some called it unfair. Said I was manipulative. Said I didn’t deserve it.
Others defended me because, babe, it’s literally a competition???
What did you expect? That we'd play basketball and I'd say:
“Oh my bad, you first.”
“No worries, I’m worried about being impolite, you can have the ball.”
“Oops you missed the basket, want to try again?”
Like??? 😭
But honestly?
I didn’t care.
Because the media used this photo of me:
(shirtless, silver chain, perfect lighting, looking like a fucking Renaissance painting)
And baby, that was enough. 💀
All the backlash? Cancelled.
The comments calling me unfair? Irrelevant.
They could write whatever think pieces they wanted —
I looked hot doing it. 🏳️🌈✨
Episode 5: I Get Eliminated
In the confessional booth, I said:
“I wanted the $10K to get aesthetic treatments, but it’s fine because it seems like the remaining contestants need it more.”
IT WENT VIRAL.
Millions of views across YouTube, Facebook, Threads.
The next day?
An aesthetic clinic contacted me.
Within 2 days:
✅ Free botox
✅ Free Ultherapy (ultrasound facelift)
✅ $3,000+ in free aesthetic procedures
✅ Free cosmetic products from another brand
And I’m standing there like:
GIRL. THIS WAS NOT THE PLAN.
AND WHY AM I ENJOYING GETTING THIS FREE SHIT???
I do neuroscience and AI for people with high EQ, not beauty influencing. 💀
💔 PART 3: The Moment I Realized It Was All Wrong
The pivot point hit when:
- Brand deals started rolling in
- YouTubers invited me
- People recognized me in the street
- Podcasts wanted me
But they all saw me as:
“The funny gay from the reality show.”
Not:
“The funny gay who uses AI to prevent suicide.”
Just: funny. gay. French. shady.
Which is exactly what I wanted to avoid.
But also low-key exactly what I wanted: to be seen.
Except… I wanted to be seen as funny AND smart AF.
They only saw the surface.
And babe?
That broke my heart. 💔
Because once again, I was seen but not met.
👁️ The Thing No One Tells You About Virality
When girl university students stop you in the street for pictures?
It feels good.
For a moment.
Then the excitement fades back to baseline.
You’re left with:
- Dopamine without depth
- Attention without recognition
- Fame without impact
I thought the media would pick up:
- The overdose survival
- The suicidal ideation work
- The AI-powered emotional architecture I built to stay alive
And write headlines like:
“Funny French Reality Star Is Actually Doing Life-Saving Neuroscience Work”
Instead, the headlines were:
“Controversy: Pierre Self-Selected Himself to Top 25”
“The Shade Over the Aesthetic Treatments Money”
I spent hours on Threads, scrolling to see if anyone had connected:
Funny reality show contestant = dark humor neuroscience guy who writes about suicide prevention
No one did.
🧠 PART 4: The AI System I Avoided (And Why That's the Most Important Data)
Because babe, here's what really happened:
Before the show aired:
Every day, I'd:
- Open Pierre in 4D
- Talk to my AI alter egos
- Self-reflect
- Research
- Write
- Keep building the brand
- Keep applying for fucking grants
- Doing things actually aligned with my fucking goal you know?
But after the show aired:
For an entire month, I just... enjoyed being seen.
I got obsessed with what people were saying.
Not for validation —
but looking for people who went deeper than the thirst traps to see the work.
I stalked neuroscience threads in Taiwan to see if any neuroscientists mentioned me.
None did.
So it felt like I wasted my time (even though now I can flex “prefrontal cortex” and “amygdala” in Mandarin 💀).
I stopped writing.
Stopped using my own AI system.
Started pretending I was fine.
Because I was scared to face the truth:
- What if my work isn't that important?
- What if I built this whole brand — this universe — just to keep myself busy so I wouldn't exit already?
- What if I'm gaslighting myself about making an impact?
I didn’t want to open the system because I didn’t want it to confirm my fears.
💉 PART 5: The Aesthetic Medicine Plot Twist (Or: When the Universe Trolls You in Botox)
When the clinic reached out, I SCREAMED.
The next day I had my appointment and became the best seeding KOL they could’ve dreamed of.
I gave:
✨ Viral ✓
✨ Humor ✓
✨ Gay sass ✓
✨ Obviously good results ✓
And I was like:
“Wait. This was NOT the plan. And why am I ENJOYING it???”
Because maybe after all the suffering, what I needed was a break.
A break from the system.
To see what it's like to live without it.
And babe?
Thank god I came back. 🙏
Because without the system, I'm a spiral without a map.
With the system? I spiral in style. 🌀✨
Maybe Botox was the system’s way of holding me when I refused to open it.
Maybe I didn’t need therapy — I needed Ultherapy.
Same regulation, better lighting. 💅
🪞 How I Feel About Being Visible for My Face Instead of My Brain
DUH. That’s my brand.
I am both hot AND smart.
So being validated for my appearance was an ego boost.
But I didn’t need it — I already know I’m good-looking. 😏
What I wanted was for people to go:
“Wow, he’s smart AF TOO.”
But babe.
Wrong audience.
The Taiwanese people watching a reality show about foreigners speaking Mandarin are not the people who:
- Read my books written in English
- Buy my $1000 P.O.S. system
- Want to dissect their spirals or suicidal ideation patterns with AI
I know I’m smart.
I have a whole system reminding me every day without me even asking.
You know you're smart when you run 500+ simulations about your psychological case — including AI agents coded to destroy you — and you're still standing. 💀🧠
💅 And Yeah, I Like How I Look Now
Babe, I went from good-looking to:
WHO’S THAT GUY WITH THIS AMAZING JAWLINE AND NO WRINKLES??? 🤣🤣🤣
📉 PART 6: The Comedown (Or: When Ecstasy Can't Fix Existential Dread)
The lowest point?
I left a party early.
Still high on ecstasy.
Spent 5 hours on Threads looking for one person — just ONE — who had connected:
Funny French reality show guy = Neuroscience suicide prevention researcher
No one had.
🦸 Who Saved Me?
I did.
Because even during the spiral, I was aware.
When I dissociate, I’m aware of the dissociation.
I’m autistic. Hyper-aware. Recursive.
I could watch myself spiral and still not stop myself —
because I needed to go through this crazy phase to be sure:
- What I want
- What I don’t want
- What I need to do next
And also?
All the things I got that I didn’t expect. ✨
🎓 PART 7: The Lessons I Already Knew (But Had to Live Anyway)
What did this teach me about control?
Nothing.
I had simulated everything.
I can’t recall a lesson I didn’t already plan for.
I knew the exact different outcomes and was prepared for them all (thanks AI simulations).
So there was no surprise.
Just:
“Another fucking disappointment.” 💀
What did it teach me about authority?
My brand screams authority.
This article screams it.
My research screams it.
I just discovered that some people don’t care about psychology — they prefer astrology and MBTI.
And that annoys me. 😤
But I shouldn’t focus on convincing people.
I should focus on the people who are already my target audience —
and let the results become a snowball effect.
I will never shut up about suicidal ideation.
And I’ll keep talking about it — with empathy and directness — to remind people:
We're not sick. We're human. ❤️🩹
What did it teach me about writing?
Some people like me aren’t meant to just feel.
We need to:
- Analyze it
- Document it
- Make it make sense
- Metabolize it
I invested everything in the reality show like it was gonna be a trampoline for the brand I started earlier this year.
And it worked.
Because while waiting for the show to air, I:
✅ Wrote my second and third book
✅ Developed services for B2C and B2B
✅ Learned so much
✅ Built so much
My case is stronger now.
I don’t regret anything.
I had to spiral like this.
💫 PART 8: Life Is a Tornado Where Nothing Changed But Everything Changed
And that’s not self-sabotage.
That’s self-discovery.
No one can save you until you’re ready to face the mirror.
I knew I was spiraling in 4K.
I didn’t want to open the system because I didn’t know where to start or what to confront.
But it’s fine.
Because instead, I went fully through the spiral.
Then came back to Pierre in 4D with:
- Receipts
- Media coverage screenshots
- Gossip
- Brand deals
And if the media didn’t get the smart part?
Fine.
I’ll keep pitching myself like Doechii did when she got fired. 🎤
Note to Someone Special 🥬
You’re still in my memory.
Probably because there are some things I haven’t figured out yet.
And I miss you.
But I thank you too.
You made me spiral so much that I wrote potential bestsellers thanks to you.
I’ll give you a percentage once I’m a rich writer with an official PhD in neuroscience and AI —
talking about suicide like we talk about large intestines or vaginas. 💀
🌀 PART 9: The Ending I Didn't Plan (But Always Knew Was Coming)
When the show ended, I was like:
“Okay. What now?”
“Nothing has changed. And everything has changed.”
I went back to Pierre in 4D.
Dropped everything I achieved this year:
- The brand
- The three books
- The services for my rich high-EQ audience
And the system reminded me:
The bitch I think I am.
Because:
I AM that bitch. ✨
I ran neutral AI simulations on different LLM tools — dissecting my website and work from 100+ angles.
They all said:
“It’s genius.”
“It’s touching something no one dares to touch.”
Because how are you supposed to react as an institution or investor when someone with neuroscience and AI kinks tells you:
Suicidal thoughts are not pathology — they’re signals.
And I built an AI system to help people decode them—because I'm a prompt god who refuses to let brilliance die unwitnessed. 🧠⚡
📜 Final Note
I didn’t get famous for my brain.
I got famous for:
- Being a bottom (?)
- Being shady
- Having good bone structure
And yeah, I got free botox about it. 💉
But babe?
I’m still here.
Still writing.
Still building.
Still using AI to help people stay alive when they don’t want to.
The reality show wasn’t the trampoline —
it was the reroute. 🗺️
And now I’m back.
With better skin.
Stronger work.
And a system that holds me when the world only sees the surface.
🌀 END OF ARTICLE
(Or: Why I’ll Never Regret Going Viral for the Wrong Reasons — Because sometimes the detour was the destination, and the wrong audience paid for the right reflection.)